“Bite Your Tongue Until It Bleeds.”
Today’s headline comes from Andrea Gordon at the Toronto Star. She refers to the oft-cited report that women, in spite of the strides they’ve made in the workplace, are still doing most domestic chores and all the childcare. Gordon has an interesting take on what women need to do to change this imbalance:
- What we do need are strategies to fix it, or at least turn the beast around so that we don’t drop dead of fatigue or shrivel up with resentment by the time the kids leave home.
- At the risk of offending the sisterhood, I have a little one. How about we start letting go of the reins? Even though everybody knows we can do it all better — because, you know, we’re The Mothers. We might not want to admit it, but when you’re the one who carries the baby for nine months, gives birth, breastfeeds and, in most cases, acts as primary caregiver/household manager for the early months, it’s hard to let go of the notion you are the Superior Species. The thing is, if women want equality on the domestic front, we have to be willing to move over and give the guys some room. And keep our mouths shut, too, even if we have to bite our tongues until they bleed.
In our house, the rule is that you don’t criticise what others do for you. My husband takes care of sorting and putting in the laundry and I don’t remind him to put the pairs of socks side-by-side on the drying rack (we live in Germany, no dryers here). I take care of loading and unloading the dishwasher and he doesn’t moan about streaks on the glassware when I forget to re-fill the rinse cabinet.
Fair, after all, is fair.
Tags: division-of-household-responsibility, houseworkRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Mental Health
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