Babylune

Valentine’s Day Gifts for the New Mother

by kate baggott on February 13th, 2007

Psssst. Male creature! You, there.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Don’t complain that the festival is a creation of greeting card and gift companies.
The fact is, if a woman has recently given you a child, you owe her. Big time. I am not talking push present, as appropriate as diamonds always are, but real expressions of love, kindness and appreciation. Don’t read this post just for gift ideas. Use it as a means of seeing how you are doing as a husband and father. Try not to be in the middle of the pack. Don’t try to “come in above average.” Try to be stellar.

To tough love it, if you think reaching for your wallet is the way to say “I love you” to a new mother, you’re on the wrong track. (Except, if you are a stay-at-home dad, like Steve. In these cases, the dad gets the love instead.)
And, the more children you have, the more your wife needs some thoughtfulness.

That means, try to ensure you give her the three hour solution every time you are able.

That means change a diaper because it’s wet or dirty, not because your wife asked you to do it. There’s no such thing as a father helping a mother and then complaining that she nags you. No, there is a little something called initiative that makes up about 95% of parenting and you should really learn how to use it.

Making dinner is a very nice guesture. Cleaning the kitchen after dinner is even better.

And the best gift? Really? Never use the words, “You’ve been sitting around the house with the baby all day long.”

The best gift you can give a new mother is also the gift you give yourself. Try to “get it.”

Try to be present enough with your family to understand what and who holds it together and the magnificent effort it takes all the time. Recognize it and be an advocate for the mother of your children when she needs support from the medical profession, from insurance companies, from political bodies and from other family members. Don’t leave her to sort everything out on her own.

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POSTED IN: Mental Health