Well, It’s Not PPD
I am too overwhelmed to do anything but whine in today’s blog entry. Read on at your own risk.We’ve been having some server problems and, as a result, traffic is down. It bothers me that fewer people are reading this site while the charity campaign is on. It bothers me that we’ve been having some trouble with the poll (it’s fixed now, BTW) and it bothers me that I can’t be upbeat when I am well out of the PPD danger zone.
Believe it or not, I am bothered that I am bothered by these blogging set backs. If I were focussed on my real goals, then this would take none of my emotional energy.
H ow does this relate to postpartum health? Well, new motherhood is transformational. Women become something different and, for the first time, it seems natural to put everyone else’s needs before your own. I think I went too far and, somehow, have started putting myself last all the time. If my committments meant producing six blog entries for pennies at the expense of my other work, then I did it. If my committment meant taking on more teaching than was comfortable so my school wouldn’t be causght short, then I did it. If it meant forgiving others for not making the same level of committment to me, then I did it even if it is the most completely unfair thing.
I went too far, coming last became a habit and now my self-esteem has been beaten down. My children’s immediate needs certainly come before my own, but I can’t put anyone else ahead of myself in the queue any longer.But how on earth do I go about it?
Tags: motherhood-and-self-esteemRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Mental Health
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